Dont rush me

Sometimes, we do stupid things. Say stupid things. And hopefully learn from them. And sometimes we make those exact mistakes over and over again.
Not this time.
I met a guy, D, who very much excites me to be around. Giggles, blushes, bubbly feelings- all the makings of a good Disney movie.
He's funny, and beautiful, and headstrong, and smart, and opinionated, and animated, and caring, and blah blah blah.
So why does he deserve a blog? Well, unfortunately, its not for getting the Knight in Shining Armor award. Every prince has a few leftover warts from their frog days, and he is no different.

D is rushing me. Im sure any inquiry inot my family or friends will assure you; i hate to be rushed.

The other day, our conversation turned very quickly to my leaving for Virginia in a few weeks, to stay for several months. School. A necessary juncture that had not yet reached maturity. He complained about missing me, which is totally understandable. I would miss him as well. However, we arent a couple yet, so i didnt feel a need to focus SO MUCh attention on the subject. He asked how i felt about moving forward into a relationship, and a mixture of confusion eased into my spirit. On the one hand, it would be fun, and exciting, and desirable to do. On the other hand it would be rather premature in my mind, and probably short-lived. I tried to explain this to him, but he was hearing no parts of it. And then came the ugly demon. D actually threw something very much akin to a tantrum. As a former babysitter, i knew better than to feed it any attention. I walked away from the situation and told him to call me when he wanted to respect my decision.

But why the decision? I am torn between two very different hearts.
The young vibrant fairychild in me is all systems go, sure that whatever mayhem would erupt is just part of the ride. She wants to takeover the situation with a devil-may-care attitude, with no regards for how the end could affect this young man's heart.
The older, warmer woman who eventually wants one of those 70 yr long marriages, is both concerned heavily about his feelings, and the worthiness of the attempt. She knows that respect breeds patience breeds endurance which breeds stability, and that such characteristics are required to make a relationship work. This is what she wants, hacing no more energy to foolish flings.

In battling both of these thoughts, I think I have either sided with caution, or else stalled until the smoke clears. I told him I would give him a more decisive answer at the end of the month. And I very much intend to. I think , however, that alot of that will depend on him, and what he shows me.